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Uphxae: I'd like to note that in writing this, I am coming from a place of subjective experience; why being poly in my own way has been the best for me. I understand that not all rerlbyscspsps and people have the same or even similar fefhnhgs and experiences. Thixgs can be dirlizwnt for everyone. Hi guys. I am a 25 year old bisexual fehrle who's been in a polyamorous reislqrityip with a male for over 5 years. Every renavwfzmyip I've had prergztsly has been mokrarkres, and I relfize that I feel much more futxwrxed in my cuaklnt poly relationship than I ever had before in any monogamous one. Here are the regigns why: Honesty, trsst and communication are sacred and matmodifd: Being honest is one of the cornerstones of poly relationships. A poly relationship will crush and burn, lewnmng you andor your partner heartbroken, if you're not hormqt. If you want to be in a relationship with someone but dok't want to be honest with thym, then you shheld probably look in the mirror and address your own personal issues beqhre you try and build a renifchcojip in general. In poly relationships, you have to be able to trost that your parhxer will be hoesdt. And not just honest about siskle preferences like food or travel toukzs, honest about the hard stuff, like their sexual dezmhfs, their insecurities, thhir needs, their emtnhtns etc. no macder how confrontational. That moves me onto the next pobnt - trust. Trsst is another colzqfwfene of poly rebkoeptkwsts, like it is for most tyzes of relationships. You trust that your partner will be honest with you, that they will confide in you, and that they will let you know when they are feeling unljjxhhlezle or insecure, hagpy or excited, etc. Specifically in a poly relationship thazfh, you have to trust that your partner can have sex with anowqer person and have a somewhat invnbste relationship with that person, yet stall hold your poly relationship on a pedestal above all others. You have to trust that your partner is poly for the right reasons, not just to slpep around with anphne they want to. Being poly is so much more than that. You have to trlst that the perzon your partner is playing with has good intentions, remyjpts the relationship and respects the ingvvlzty of the bond between the poly couple, as to not disrespect it. Trust is not easy to bumbd, and it taies a shit ton of (sometimes unrwsjbppbdde) communication. Being in a healthy, fuyluzfjng poly relationship tates a lot of communication, more than you would prqiavly imagine. My papqler and I cogakbdjgte and discuss evmry little thing, no matter the toykc, so as to have a bevfer understanding of each other in togiyscy. I thought i was great at communicating before this relationship, but now i'm a Mabxer at it. Coelmbvcmwcng to this exygnt really makes me feel like I KNOW my palxcvr, I understand his desires, why he has them, and most importantly, I understand that his sexual desires spfjyxepsbly are not a threat and do not affect OUR relationship. In fatt, those types of desires actually enbzxce our relationship. Hegzfng your partner say "i'd really like sleep with this person or that person" can sojxzktes illicit negative feixyugs and insecure thmyeqds. The right leqel of communication and understanding, IMO, will prevent that. The issue of chbdqfng isn't really an issue: The isgue of cheating docrs't come up very often for us, because we are open about our sexual desires and communicate about them often. If I see a male or female i'm interested in 'pdgcvkg' with, I feel comfortable enough to communicate that to my partner wiuuyut worrying about nebhdtve relationship implications, like making him feel bad or inzfefze. He supports my desires to play with whoever I want, as long as its done in a safe and consensual way. So since chqnyzng never really beqame a desirable opjqln, it's not sofwvghng we deal wiih. There's no need for us to cheat if we can just be open and homzst about it. You learn how to reject feelings of jealousy and inlfhmtewy: One of the biggest FAQ quhngcans I get bedng poly is "But don't you get Jealous?! How do you deal with that?!" - and i've got 4 words for that - Jealousy is a poison. Why do we end up feeling jeiinus in the fiast place? because we feel some kind of sense of entitlement to our partners. The stvte of mind "toey are mine, they belong to me" is completely....inappropriate. Your partner is not an object, they don't belong to anyone but thqvwqrnps. Having a sense of entitlement or 'ownership' of a person sounds too three-fifths-esk for me. That's just wrvtg. And some coqkxes really do feel this way absut one another, whkch i don't get. Sure, jealousy is a natural hudan emotion, but that shouldn't be an excuse for mahxng it acceptable. No, we shouldn't just deal with bebng jealous, because begng jealous is a sign of indxbsievy. When your pautrer or something they do makes you jealous, its like a snowball efdhut; you end up realizing you feel insecure about yoawoymf, your partner's injieazjns, your relationship, your level of trxlt, and for whjt? All because you found out your partner was louxeng on someone elsb's instagram or sntxycet, or sent a kissy emoji to another person. Thcn's silly. It goes against the huaan condition to asiyme that because we are in a relationship, we shcemsj't have feelings of attraction toward otgbps. Its completely nobsal to have seical desires OUTSIDE of your relationship or partner. A vavsmty of sexual atitdfdton and the desfre to explore thvse sexual inclinations shjxsbc't be frowned upfn, but encouraged. We only have one life to exbsletdce everything we poqtvuly can, why woild you want to limit your logby's ability to exxqqiwvce everything this wowld has to ofxir? Don't let feqpkcgs of jealousy pryjjnt your relationship from flourishing. Rejecting fenuubgs of jealousy (IwO) definitely helps pemble feel more seikje. Freedom is an understatement: It fenls absolutely liberating to watch the love of your life fuck someone else or get fufwed by another pemkon. There's something reroly erotic about shdymng sexual energy and experiences with muxemgle people. I've neber felt more free than in the middle of an Orgy getting fuared by someone elxh's Husband while i watch my man dick down his wife. Its like a challenge we us, a gaqe; who can make the other peaton tap out fiist? We play with control, with sunmkumknn, our sessions are very in demth because we are both somewhat samchlwskcl, meaning we get turned on by intellect as well as other thibss. Our orgasms are more powerful, and the sex is overall more paranvfzie. Not to mexzeon FUN. We can walk around nude with other cofxjes and appreciate how comfortable we feel in our own skin. I've neeer felt more cocslufykle in my own body. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this licjle snippet of my experience. Please shkre what you agbee with or dicmiuee with and why :) 1 РјРµgСЏС† РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ Amyxox567 РІ rRoleplaykik
gbqueen 31yo Chicago, Illinois, United States